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(last update 8/23/99)
The series ended before the kids got home, unfortunately. And as we
know, our favorite cartoon often borrowed heavily from other stories, fables,
and movies in many of its episodes. So, with that in mind, based on some
other stories/series (some popular, some more obscure), here are some ways
that the series MIGHT have ended...
Zak's Endings:
The "Help me take this silly one-horned helmet
off," ending (the Star Wars Trilogy):
Venger redeems himself, saving his son from the Great Evil No-Name. He's
killed in the process, of course, but justice and goodness prevail.
Who's his son? Why, Hank, of course!
Hank: "Nooooooooooooooooo!!!"
The "But it WAS a real live place!" ending
(The Wizard of Oz):
Dungeonmaster gets the kids to chant "There's no place
like earth, there's no place like Earth," over and over. After some
cool psychedelic effects the kids wake up in the hospital, where they'd
been sent after a big dragon statue had squashed their coaster car. They
try to convince their doctors (who look remarkably like DM and Venger)
that their Realm adventures really happened.
The "All men die, but few men truly live"
ending (Braveheart):
The kids are killed off by the evil Venger, while they are trying to rally
the masses to fight one last huge battle. But instead of discouraging a
revolution, this tragedy is enough to incite the peasants to revolt. They
fought like warrior-poets. They fought like Scottsmen. And they won their
freedom. (Insert inspirational bagpipe music here).
The "Ziggy sez you have to..." ending
(Quantum Leap):
The kids, after finishing all the tasks DM had set for them,
enter the portal and discover themselves in another world!! And not only
that, but they are trapped in different bodies! A man appears before them
with a calculator that makes ridiculous noises and tells them that they
have to set right the wrongs of these people before they can leap home.
Hank: "Oh, boy..."
The "'Scuse me...but why does God need
a spaceship?" ending (Star Trek V):
The kids discover that DM is really an evil god who's been using them to
take out his enemies! They decide they don't want to play this little game
anymore. DM grudgingly sends them home and picks six more gullible kids
to do his dirty work.
The "Last time, it snowed for ten years!"
ending (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C.S.Lewis):
After a teriffic battle, Venger is finally defeated by DM (who's taken
the form of a big lion). DM installs the kids as rulers of the Realm, and
they grow up to be wise (yet still homesick) adults. One day, while they
are travelling through a forest searching for a magic stag that will grant
them all a wish, they stumble upon a coaster car which takes them home.
They find that no time has passed and that they are kids again.
The "Why son, you're forgettin' yer wind-up mushroom!"
ending (Dangermouse):
The big guy whose name can't be spoken comes back and takes
Venger and his five-headed pet dragon away after giving him a good scolding.
The kids find out that Venger was just a big kid, No-Name was his daddy,
and that the Realm was the cosmic equivalent of his G.I.Joe action figure
playset!
The "We must all plant our gardens" ending
(Candide, by Voltaire):
Bitter and disillusioned after years of following DM's advice, but never
getting anywhere, the kids turn their weapons over to Venger. They settle
down in a small cottage together, discussing philosophy. Venger, now ruler
of the Realm, drops by every now and then for Earth-style pizza and home-grown
cucumber sandwiches.
The "Rip Van Winkle" ending (a.k.a.
the Murphey's Law ending):
The kids make it home in time for their retirement, just as
Eric predicted. Three die of heart attacks on the exciting ride back and
two more die of shock upon returning and finding out that no time has passed
on earth. The last one spends the last few years of his life trying to
convince his rich dad that he really is Eric.
The Soap Opera ending
It doesn't ever end, it just gets sillier and sillier...but it's so addictive, you have to watch it every day or suffer withdrawl. "Diana leaves Eric for a younger man...a MUCH younger man!! (Diana:
"Sorry, Eric- I need someone with my keen fashion sense...someone
less whiny than you!") But this
is nothing compared to the drama when Hank finds out who the REAL
father of Sheila's baby is!!! (Hank:
"But Sheila...he's not even HUMAN!!") Presto
rips a hole in the fabric of space time when Uni tries to teach him to
teleport! (DM: "Tsk, tsk, tsk...too
much twiddle!!") Will the Realm recover
from the disaster? Will the kids ever make it home alive? Find
out on tomorrow's exciting episode of The Young and the Restless in Another
World!"
And of course, "This is the song that never ends...yes
it goes on and on my friend..." (song from Lamb Chops, but
the ending itself is in the spirit of all series such as Gilligan's
Island, Land of the Lost, Lost in Space, Star Trek Voyager........):
The kids never get home-- they are stranded until low ratings
kill them!
Additional endings by other fans:
Endings by Joe R.
The "And it would have worked too, if it wasn't
for those meddling kids... and their pesky unicorn!" ending (Scooby
Doo):
After spending three years in the Realm running for their lives,
the kids finally come to their senses and realize that there are no such
things as monsters, wizards, and time-travelling Nazis. They split up and
search for Venger. Once they find him, a wild chase ensues. At the end
of the chase, the kids manage to turn the tables on Venger and end up capturing
him. They remove his mask to reveal that he's really a real estate developer
named Bob (who has a thing for wearing dresses). The D&D ride, the
Realm, etc., were just part of an elaborate (not to mention ridiculously
expensive) scheme to scare people away from the amusement park so that
Bob could tear it down and build a mega-mall in its place. With Bob safely
in custody, the kids return home, buy a cheesy-looking 70's van, and become
full-time detectives.
The "Pawns of Greater Powers" ending (Elric
of Melniboné):
The kids realize that the main reason they are stuck in the
Realm is that Dungeonmaster is using them as pawns in his conflict against
Venger. They decide that the only way to end the conflict and get home
(and set the Realm free in the process) is to destroy both Venger and Dungeonmaster.
The kids eventually kill Venger, Dungeonmaster, and Tiamat (just for good
measure) in a final, cataclysmic battle. As the kids are resting and recovering
from the battle, their weapons turn against them and they are all killed
off. As they lie there dying, they see their weapons combine and turn into
a large, demonic being. Just before they die, each realizes that by attempting
to free themselves and the Realm, they have doomed the Realm to enslavement.
The creature, which used the kids as its pawns, now has no one to oppose
it. It flys off into the night with the parting words, “Farewell my friends.
I was a thousand times more evil than thou!”
The "Back to Reality" ending (Red Dwarf):
The episode starts with the kids fighting an evil wizard. Just
as it seems that the kids are going to win, the wizard casts one last spell
and slips away. The kids are engulfed in a foul cloud. One by one, they
all drop and “die”. They awaken to find themselves hooked into a computer.
They find out that for the last three years they have been playing a complex
virtual reality game. The kids must now re-adjust to real life. Unfortunately,
the “kids” find out that in real life they are very different people than
who they were in the game. In fact, the reason why they played the game
in the first place was to escape who they were! Hank finds out that he’s
an impeached politician; someone who’s been proven to be a terrible leader.
Sheila is an “old maid” who spends almost all of her time alone. Bobby
is a cowardly teenager who’s been picked on his whole life. Presto is a
guy who’s dumb as a rock and always wished he could’ve amounted to something
in life. Diana is an old woman who wants to desperately regain her youth.
Eric has been dirt poor his whole life, and always wanted to be someone
of wealth and privalege. After experiencing the game, none of them can
bear to return to real life. They all decide to commit suicide together.
Just as they’re about to commit the act, they re-awaken in the Realm. Dungeonmaster
explains that the spell the wizard cast was a “Cloud of Despair” spell,
and that they were all suffering from a group hallucination. Dungeonmaster
saved them just in time. The kids are relieved, but no closer to getting
home. (OK- this isn’t a real ending,
but the way the episode is set up, until the kids reawaken in the Realm,
the audience is supposed to believe that this is the real ending to the
series... hey, it worked in Red Dwarf...).
The "D&D 1990" ending (Battlestar
Galactica / Galactica 1980):
After a decade or so off the air, the network execs at CBS figure
out that there are still a lot of old D&D fans out there. They decide
to start the show up once again, calling it "D&D 1990", but
give it a much smaller budget than the original. Due to the smaller budget,
they have to hire less expensive voice actors. Since all the voices have
changed, the network execs decide to have the writers change to a whole
new cast of characters. They do, however, decide to keep Venger and Dungeonmaster,
but only for continuity reasons. The execs also decide that the special
effects for the Realm are too expensive, so they decide to move the action
to Earth (I know that it's a cartoon, so it shouldn't really matter, but
try explaining that to the execs). So the kids (now with new names, faces,
and voices, but still with the same basic personalities) finally manage
to get home, but have inadvertantly brought Venger and his minions with
them. They spend the next nine episodes fighting Venger and trying to protect
Earth. They fly around on pegasi, use archaic weapons, and cast spells,
yet none of the normal Earthlings ever seems to notice. The whole show
is a fiasco and becomes the laughingstock of the industry. In order to
boost the abysmal ratings, the network execs decide to spend the money
to rehire Willy Ames to do the voice of Hank. Unfortunately, it's too little,
too late. Even the return of Hank can't save the show. D&D 1990 is
cancelled after only 10 episodes. The fans are still out there, however,
and early in the 00's rumours start to fly about a new version of the series
on the FOX network...
Endings by Andrew "Tovanan" O.:
The "To Hell With It" Ending
Our heroes recover some magical device that will alow them to return home.
However, in using it they must leave it behind. If they do, Venger will
appropriate it and wreak havoc and destruction on the Realm. "Hell with it"
they say, shrugging their shoulders and stepping through the gate.
The "Real D&D" Ending
The kids inadvertently stumble into one of the original extremely-difficult
D&D role-playing modules such as Tomb Of Horrors, Isle of Ape or The 384th
Incarnation of Bigby's Tomb, where they are killed outright.
The "Don't Turn Your Back On The Unicorn" Ending
While the kids sleep around the campfire, Uni is magically possessed by
Venger and spears them all through the head with her horn one after the
other.
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