- The Lost Children
Hank: I wonder why there are no guards?
Eric: I’ll tell ya why! Because no one is stupid enough to ever try to come here, that’s why!Hank (later): I wonder why the ship isn’t guarded?
Eric: Because nobody ever gets in here either!!!Eric: Are you kidding? I wouldn’t ride that thing if Venger was standing right next to me!
Venger (standing right next to him): SIEZE THEM!!Eric: No, not sugar, salt!! Sheesh, whoever heard of putting sugar on potatoes?
Lost Child: I am afraid it is you who do not understand. So-Gor is his name!
Eric: Right, and I'm Bambi, that's Thumper and this is Dumbo...
DM: However…through defeat, you shall find victory.
Diana: What’s that supposed to mean?
Eric: It means the warranty has run out on Dungeonmaster’s brain! - The Garden of Zinn
Eric: Bareback riding on giant worms? I don’t know how much longer I can take this crazy world!!Sorlars: I mean you no harm!
Eric: Awww, he’s lying! Let 'im have it!Eric: Ooooooh, no. Uh-uh!! I’m trying to get out of this world! I don’t want to settle down in it!
Queen Zinn: Why not let your friends continue the search, while you share the wealth of my throne with me?
Eric: Wealth…? On second thought, if I’m gonna be trapped in this world…why not be trapped in style?DM: The only cure is the foot of the yellow dragon.
Eric: What are we supposed to do, just waltz up to a yellow dragon and ask to borrow its foot?!Hank: Wait! Notice anything strange....?
Eric: We're walking through the Valley of Smoke looking for pickled dragon's feet-- what could be strange? - Prison Without Walls
Eric: PRESTO!!
Presto: Here!
Eric: I’m not taking attendance, you dork!! I need HELP!!DM: Lukion dwells in the saddest prison of all: a prison without walls...you shall know him by what he speaks without words."
Sheila: Now I’m really confused!
Eric: What's confusing? We just find the heart of the dungeon, the dragon that speaks without walls, and we’re home free! Simple.Sheila: Now where'd he go??
Eric: Maybe he went home-- to his little dungeon without floors or something... - Day of the Dungeonmaster
Eric: Not a chance, horn-head! Put up your dukes! Go ahead, take your best shot! Let me see what you’ve got! Only one of us is gonna survive this fight, and it’s not gonna be ME!.......Waitaminnit, that’s not right!Eric: Hmmm, what would DM say in a situation like this…? You will find it, unless it finds you first. It lies a long way off, but in truth, it is very near! How was that?
Others: Booooooo!Eric: Wait, Barbarian...these walls cannot be broken.
Sheila: Eric!! you sounded just like Dungeonmaster!
Eric: There's no need to be insulting.Eric: This wasn't in the job description!!
Eric: Aww, c'mon! What does Dungeonmaster have that I haven't?
Diana: Style, Eric. Style. - In Search of the Dungeonmaster:
Diana: What would Dungeonmaster do in a situation like this?
Eric: Hmmph. Disappear! - Valley of the Unicorns
Bobby: What do you think scared them off?
Eric: They took one look at my great strength, one look at my grim weapon…
Diana: And one look at your grody face!Eric: From now on, I’m writing down every dumb word he says!
Eric: You dummy, don’t you remember what DM said? You only have to put one of them on! And I quote, the fate of one is shared by all. Stuff that into your hat!
- The Box
Others: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!
Presto: Eric! Did you hear that? They’re in trouble!
Eric: Now, don’t jump to conclusions, Presto- they’re probably just checking out the echo.Bobby: It’s Venger! We’ve got to stop him!
Eric: We nothing!! I’m callin’ the cops!Eric: First there’s something valuable in it, then there’s pain and horror in it. Now there’s nothing in it! I think there’s nothing in his head!
Eric: Ooooh, I get it. There’s something in the box and there’s nothing in the box. The nothing is valuable but the something is horrible and if we open the box in the right place we get nothing, which is good, but if we open the box in the wrong place we get something, which is horrible. I love this little guy!!
- Citadel of Shadow
Eric: Sheila....you rescued Venger's sister??!!
Sheila: She didn't tell me that part...Eric: No, no! She's not OUR friend, she's SHEILA'S friend!
Eric: It looks like something straight out of Better Homes and Gargoyles.
Eric: For only when the ring of the heart is placed within and above the ring of the mind will a power be released which can send you home, isn’t that right, DM old buddy? (to Sheila) I’ve started memorizing his riddles!
- Beauty and the Bogbeast
DM: Beware the beauty that breathes the beast.
Eric: What is that? Sleeping Beauty with bad breath??Presto: Eric! Don't you remember what Dungeonmaster said? Beware the beauty that breathes the beast!
Eric (now transformed into a bogbeast): Lucky for you nothing happened!!…..what are you guys staring at?
Presto & Diana: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Eric: Geez, some friends YOU are. *croak* Just because a guy’s got a little frog in his throat is nothing to laugh about! I gotta get some water. *croak* Twerps! - Dungeon at the Heart of Dawn
Eric: Way to go, you musclebound pipsqueak! I said open the door, not bring down the house!!
Bobby: Well excuuuuuse me, but I couldn't see! Whaddya think I got in my helmet, RADAR?
Eric: Well, it sure isn't brains!!
Diana: Look out, here comes the charge of the Fight Brigade....Eric: Hold it right there, Captain Shortness! (Bobby turns to look) Not you, the other one! This stupid safari isn't taking another step until you tell us what's going on!
DM: We are running, Cavalier-- for our very lives!!
Eric: You're kidding, right? C’mon, you’re lookin’ at old pros here! We’ve survived everything this silly Realm has dished out, from five-headed dragons to one-horned Vengers!
Presto: Yeah, everything except triple-lined double-fanged flying purple people-eaters!
Bobby: Are you kidding?! I got one of those last week! - The Time Lost
- The Hall of Bones
Eric: Oh, this is perfect! Now we’re lost in an endless underground cavern in a world we’re already lost in! - The Traitor
Eric: Now why didn't I think of that? A game of Patty-Cake will stop an army of raging orcs any day!! - The Girl Who Dreamed Tomorrow:
Bobby: "ERIC!! What’re you doing?"
Eric: Bein’ stupid, what else??Bobby: You took on that dragon single-handedly! That was the bravest thing I ever saw!
Terry: But it was Eric that kept us from getting barbecued!
Bobby: That was only the second bravest thing I ever saw.
Eric: Don't everybody thank me at once...
Sheila & Presto: (singsong voices) Thaaank-you, Errr-ic! - The Child of the Stargazer:
Eric: Naaah...piece of cake...You’re lookin’ at guys who defeat wicked queens for breakfast! - Servant of Evil
Venger: Your moment of triumph will be brief…for you cannot withstand the force of the volcano itself!!!!!
Eric: Why do I get the terrible feeling he’s right this time? - The Last Illusion
Eric: This is the worst jail I've ever been in! There's no kechup on my french fries! And there's no french fries! Heeeyyyyy!!
Venger: What is going on here?
Eric (disguised as an orc, pokes the orc captain): We were just having a little orc-to-orc talk, right Porky? - ((?????...bonus points if you tell me which episode!))
Eric (to Uni): Aw, what do you know? Stupid unicorn.
Bobby: What’d you say...?!?
Eric: Uh, I said I like my uniform!Eric: Forget Dungeonmaster!! We should be praying for a S.W.A.T. Team!!!
DM: With each brave deed, you grow more worthy...You will be rewarded! In time...
ERic: In time for WHAT? Our retirement??
Eric: (To Joseph, WWII pilot) Welcome to Whacky-land, Earthling!
Eric: Someone around here has a lousy sense of humor! And his initials are Dungeonmaster!!
