ZAK'S FAVORITES:
VENGER: "Does this dress make me look fat?" --Wulfgar

VENGER: "Must...get...saddle for NIGHTMARE!" --Tann

VENGER: "And when you're finished, foolish Barbarian, the mop and bucket go in the hall closet. And in the future, the unicorn remains OUTSIDE!" --Rummi

OTHER CAPTIONS:

• Ebony cape: £42.99 (Topshop)
  Pleated Grey Skirt: £24.99 (Miss Selfridges)
  Scarlet Horned Headpiece: Model's own. --Riggers
• With a critical eye, Venger regards himself in the full length mirror wondering if the new outfit he bought from Dressed To Kill, the villains fashion catalogue, makes him appear menacing enough to go out and attack the Realm. --Kimmy
• VENGER: "Ugh! Disgusting! This is utter trash! I can't believe I'm looking at this drivel! Why in the name of the Abyss did I agree to host the 'Retrospecitve of Orcish Art'?!?!"
  --Kryshenn
• Venger tried to discreetly get his underwear out from between his crack, vowing never to wear a thong again. It was difficult to be threatening and overbearing when one dug aroung ones crotch! Thank He Who Should Not Be Named for long, billowing cloaks! --Brenna
• VENGER: "You foolish mortal, how DARE you infiltrate the castle of Venger without permission! Do you realise the punishment for such a bold and reckless endeavour...?"
  SHADOWDEMON: (hiding behind him) "Uhh... Master? You may not realise this...it being first thing in the morning, and all...but that is actually your mother-in-law..."
  VENGER: "You FOOL! I KNOW who it is!" --Super Lemmingo
• VENGER: "I'm a lit-tle tea-pot, short and stout/Here is my han-dle..." --Wulfgar
• VENGER: "No, no, no, you stupid orcs! That divan can't go there, it clashes with the fuschia drapes and the magenta carpeting. Ooo, you make me sooooo mad that I could give you *such* a pinch! Who taught you color theory and design, anyway?!?" --Wulfgar
• VENGER: "I need a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream sooo badly right now...even though I know that it'll go *straight to my hips!"--Wulfgar
• VENGER: "Note to self, explain to Shadow Demon the difference between oranges and lemons." --Heidi
• Venger just couldn't cut it against the rest of the "Village People"...--Fay
• VENGER (upon his first encounter with a mirror since being transformed by the Nameless One): Oh . . . my . . . God! Look what he *did* to me! He said that my apppearance would change, but *this*! The bat wings . . .that horn . . . those fangs . . . the fish-colored skin . . . the imposing and unnatural height! *Daaaamn*! I'm GORGEOUS!!!...?" --Rummi
• JENNY JONES (O.S.): "Our next guest says he went from "DM's Brat" to "All That!" Please welcome, VENGER!! --Rummi
• VENGER: "UGH! My hemorrhoids are killing me!!!" --Sterling
• Venger in a museum..."I know what I like, but is it art?" --dRfAuSt
• Museum Guidebook: "In the Realm's Hall, we have the elusive one-horned Venger -- note the evil scowl, the protruberant fangs, the fish-belly skin. the creature is noted in the folklore and documentary evidence as a vicious, foul-tempered baggy-eyed devil. This is the only known specimen of its kind, and it is rumored that the adult form is significantly smaller and friendlier-looking.
  The Museum of Unnatural History's conservators have taken great pains to restore the taxidermy work done in the late 20th Century, even to the re-stuffing of the piece. The specimen was donated by an anonymous benefactor known only as Ms. T.M. Maat, of Sumeria." --Wulfgar
• VENGER: "I'm good enough....I'm smart enough...and darn it, people like me!" --KCFlatlander
• Venger's reaction when he comes face to face with Dungeon Master's new star pupil: Squiffy the Wonder Squirrel! --Kryschenn
• VENGER: "Uh-UHHHH, girlfriend -- don't even GO there!" --Tann
• VENGER: "It catches me just right here, Doc..." --Tann

Episode: Valley of the Unicorns